Wednesday, August 3, 2011 -
This day was a blur. It went by SO quickly, but it was also very very long. I was still handling the contractions quite well, and was surprised that they hadn't started hurting yet. They were literally back to back, and the nurse kept reminding me that I could have an epidural/pain meds whenever I felt I needed them. I didn't realize it then, but this was my Hypnobabies practice hard at work. I was using the tools without being aware that I was using them.
Around 10:30 my nurse came in to let me know that the anesthesiologist was going into a c-section and wouldn't be available to do an epidural for another hour and a half to two hours. I told her I was fine and that I would wait to decide until he was out of the c-section. I think I lost some of my concentration at that point because almost immediately the contractions started to worsen. I started to actively use my birthing tools to concentrate through them, but I could tell that, because I hadn't yet finished the Hypnobabies course, I did not have the tools yet for the later stages of labor. I let my nurse know that I would like the epidural as soon as the anesthesiologist was available even though I still wasn't in much pain. When he came in to do it, he warned me that the first stick of the needle would sting because of the lidocane. I told him that I hadn't felt the lidocane at all with my last epidural and my nurse chuckled and said "I have a feeling this one has a high pain tolerance". That made me SO proud because I hadn't even had to try to get through the contractions until the last 30 minutes before I called for the epidural. I was very proud that my Hypnobabies practice had been paying off.
Things seemed to go very quickly after the epidural was in. We waited for my family to come visit so that Kaylee could see us. They stayed for a little while, and it was wonderful to see our little Kaylee. They left at 5:30 and right after that the nurse told me I was at 6 cm and 100%. Only 10 minutes later I felt the very urgent need to push, and I called her back in to find out that little Cadence was about to be born.
The doctor was paged (her office is down the hall from the labor and delivery unit of the hospital) but I had the feeling if she didn't hurry she was going to miss the delivery. It took every bit of mental willpower for me to not push with each contraction. Finally the nurse checked and discovered that Cadence actually was head down, not breech like she had been at the ultrasound the previous afternoon. Once she realized that she gave me permission to push and Cadence was born with only me, Robert and the nurse in the room. It was an amazingly quiet, sacred, moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.
I was immediately grateful that I was fully aware for her birth. I didn't want to miss a second of this experience, as horrible as that sounds, and I was very glad that I wasn't loopy like I had been for Kaylee's birth. She was wrapped up and handed to me and I held her for a couple minutes until the doctor came in. She was shocked that Cadence was already there, and sad that she hadn't been there for me. Robert got to bathe Cadence and I dressed her in a little purple dress/nightgown, knit hat, and booties. It was given to us by the Chaplin, and was SO tiny, yet still looked big on our little girl. After she was dressed and re-wrapped, Robert and I held her and spent some time alone with her.
Even though I didn't get to have the exact birth that I wanted, I think it was the most perfect birth I could get in this situation. I am so grateful to my wonderful husband who was there for me every step of the way.
