Week 38 - The final pregnancy post!

Pregnancy Highlights: Part of me can't believe I have made it to week 38 with these babies.

How Far Along: 38 weeks

Size of baby:  Over 19.5" long and roughly 6.8 lbs
Position: They are switching between Breech/Breech and Oblique, which is where they are in there on an angle. Both heads are at the top right of my belly and their bums are on the bottom left

Weight: 220

Total Weight Gain: Gain: 37.6
Stretch Marks: Yes, tons and tons, and I am scared for what my belly will look like after the babies come out.

Maternity Clothes: I have 1 shirt that really fits anymore. And the one I'm wearing in the picture...that only kind of fits. Sooo glad the babies are coming out this week

Genders: Girl/Girl!!

Names: Baby A will be Courtney Maren, and Baby B will be Alexis Marie

Movement: I have to concentrate to make sure they are moving as much as they should, but I am a little obsessive about it....to the point that I take note of their movements even in the middle of the night. 

Sleep: I am still sleeping pretty well. Getting up to use the bathroom 4-6 times a night is becoming a hassle though. The babies get into the weirdest positions during the night and when I get up my belly is always in odd shapes. It is always painful to get up and down from the bed.

Exercise: Kaylee and I went a lot of places this week so I did a lot of walking. I was super surprised some days that I didn't go into labor!

Hypnobabies: No Hypnobabies this week. Hopefully I will be able to use it for my next baby :(

Symptoms: Everything hurts! My back, belly, pelvis, pubic bone, ribs, and even sometimes my kidneys hurt!

What I miss: Physical activity, and not being in pain

Cravings: Not much.

Aversions: Still eggs, but overall, I am just pretty sick of eating constantly. 

Things to do: Buy the big stuff - crib, car seat, stroller, two bouncers, Buy a BIGGER CAR, Paint the room, Put up the flower/tree decals, Make/buy bedding, Buy baby books, Sew/buy 36 diapers, Wash clothes, Install both infant seats, Decorate name letters - Alexis, Courtney, Rearrange and set up the nursery, Buy more girl's clothes, Pack hospital bags - Theirs, Mine, Get nursing bras, tops, tank tops, Get little stuff - thermometer, bulb syringe, bath soap, lotions, nail clippers, pacifiers, make 1-3 months of freezer meals, Go on one last outing as a family of 3. 

Best Moment this week: Getting the actual date for the c-section! Tuesday the 28th can't come fast enough. This past week has been SOOO long, and I can't believe we will be having babies the day after tomorrow!

Looking Forward To: Having these babies!! I can.not.wait!

Picture(s) for this week: 

Week 38!

The Countdown

Some might have noticed that my baby ticker skipped a few days. It all of the sudden says 3 days until babies get here. That is because on Tuesday we will be going in to have the babies. I will be having a c-section, and a lot of me is still super bummed about it. It wont be the birth I wanted for sure, but I feel like it will be the best for these girls. There has to be some reason that they haven't turned despite my trying everything from proper posture to hypnosis and homeopathic remedies.

These last few days since we set the date for the babies' birth have been a roller coaster of emotions. I am scared that something will go wrong before Tuesday. Thank heavens for my doppler that I can check on their heartbeats a hundred times a day if I feel the need. I am so incredibly excited to be able to meet these little girls! I am also scared that we are bringing them into the world too early and that something will go wrong and they will have to stay in the NICU when we leave the hospital. I have a super irrational fear of ending up needing general anesthesia and being one of those people who is paralyzed but still feels everything but can't tell anyone.

This has been the longest week of my life! Seriously, every day has seemed to drag on and on. Every day we get closer to the section date seems to go slower than the one before. I have been trying to fill the days with fun activities, but some days I am too tired and those seem to drag on the most.

Today Robert and I went out with Kaylee for a morning of fun.We visited a preschool, went to two different malls, played in a water fountain, and got lunch at her favorite restaurant (Jimmy Johns). She went down for her nap a very tired, very happy little girl. One of our main reasons for going out today was to go to Build-A-Bear so that Kaylee could make something to give to the babies when she comes to the hospital to meet them. We also had he pick an animal that she really liked, and secretly made it for her. It will be her gift when she comes to the hospital.

It is weird to think (several times a day) "this is the last time I will do 'x' before the babies are here, or with only one child"

I know that our life is about to change in ways that I can not even imagine. At the same time, I can't wait to have our family grow. I am determined to, eventually, get our lives back to normal where we can do everything that other families can do "despite" having the added challenge of twins. That determination comes from all those people who have tried to tell me that " your life will never be easy again" or "don't expect to ever be on time to anything again" or "you wont ever have time for anything once the babies are here"....I intend to prove them all wrong.

Week 37

Pregnancy Highlights: I am officially "Full Term"! This week has been really tough on me. Everything hurts. Sometimes I can't even pinpoint what hurts. I had a couple days this week where it was all I could do to keep from crying all day. Luckily, I have been feeling better enough that I think I can still make it to the hopeful c-section date.

How Far Along: 37 weeks

Size of baby:  Over 19" long and as of Friday, Baby A is 6 lbs even and Baby B is 6 lbs 10 oz. I am guessing that Baby A is bigger than they had her measuring, because they couldn't get very good shots of her to measure
Position: They are switching between Breech/Breech and Oblique, which is where they are in there on an angle. Both heads are at the top right of my belly and their bums are on the bottom left

Weight: 215 - The scale may say that I gained weight, but I feel (and look) like I am losing weight.

Total Weight Gain: Gain: 32.6
Stretch Marks: I have a stretch mark that actually split open a little and is now a little sore!! I didn't notice when it happened, but I am scared that more might start splitting open.

Maternity Clothes: I am quickly outgrowing my shirts

Genders: Girl/Girl!!

Names: Baby A will be Courtney Maren, and Baby B will be Alexis Marie

Movement: They have been having more active moments this week, but they are still pretty quiet for the most part

Sleep: I am still sleeping pretty well. Getting up to use the bathroom 4-6 times a night is becoming a hassle though. I have contractions the entire time I am up during the night, and they are really intense. This week they have been continuing after I get back in bed and it takes a few minutes for my belly/back to stop hurting before I can go back to sleep

Exercise: Nope!

Hypnobabies: I am still practicing, but I am more trying to adjust to the likelihood of my needing a c-section. My intuition has been telling me from the beginning that these babies are not going to turn head down. I know there is still a chance, but it is becoming a smaller and smaller possibility.

Symptoms: Everything hurts! My back, belly, pelvis, pubic bone, ribs, and even sometimes my kidneys hurt!

What I miss: Physical activity, and not being in pain

Cravings: Not much.

Aversions: Still eggs, but overall, I am just pretty sick of eating constantly. 

Things to do: Buy the big stuff - crib, car seat, stroller, two bouncers, Buy a BIGGER CAR, Paint the room, Put up the flower/tree decals, Make/buy bedding, Buy baby books, Sew/buy 36 diapers, Wash clothes, Install both infant seats, Decorate name letters - Alexis, Courtney, Rearrange and set up the nursery, Buy more girl's clothes, Pack hospital bags - Theirs, Mine, Get nursing bras, tops, tank tops, Get little stuff - thermometer, bulb syringe, bath soap, lotions, nail clippers, pacifiers, make 1-3 months of freezer meals, Go on one last outing as a family of 3. I actually have some freezer stuff now!! YAY! My mom is wonderful and helped me stock some easy to fix things, and we are having a big cooking day sometime this week to prepare some crock pot meals and other things to freeze. I am so excited!

Best Moment this week: Seeing the girls again! Actually, now that they are so big, it is hard to see anything other than their heads clearly. The tech did manage to get pictures of their profiles, which will probably be the last ultrasound pictures we get of them. Sad, but so exciting at the same time!!

Looking Forward To: Having these babies!! I can.not.wait!

Picture(s) for this week: 

Week 37

I have made it to the "average"

Pregnancy Highlights: 36 weeks. The "average" time that twins are born. This is the week that many (if not most) people believe is full term for twins. As if twins grow and mature in utero faster than singleton babies. Fact is, that they grow the same rate as singletons! They may come early for many MANY different reasons, but there are also many who go to or past their due dates. I am so happy to be one of the moms who has made it this far with little problems. No problems actually if you don't count the bee incident that send us to the hospital a couple weeks ago.

I have so many mixed emotions in regards to when the babies get here. One one hand, I am so incredibly DONE being pregnant, both mentally, emotionally, and physically. If there were no other factors I would be fine having the babies today. There are other factors though. I am ONLY at 36 weeks! There is no way with a singleton baby that I would be comfortable birthing this early. There are so many physical and neurological benefits to babies staying in much longer than 36 weeks. There is a reason gestation for human babies is 38-42 weeks long. Babies are meant to stay in until THEY are ready to come out. Another reason for my wanting them to stay in a while longer is that I want "take home" babies. I want both of these girls to be ready to leave the hospital as soon as I am! I do not want to leave one or both of them behind in the NICU. That would be heartbreaking, even if they were there just for feeding and growing and in no actual danger. Yes, I understand that there is always a chance of them needing the NICU even if I go clear to or past my due date. But the chance is much higher now than it will be then. So, as uncomfortable as I may be, I am more than willing to stay pregnant until it is safer for them to come out.

Having said ALLLLL of that ^^, Robert and I have a c-section date picked out!! No, it isn't scheduled yet, because I told the little girls they had until the 17th to turn head down before we schedule their birthday. I haven't yet decided if I want to share the actual date on here, but once it is final I think it will be hard to keep it a secret. I will say though, that it isn't in September. So, it is safe to say that in three weeks from today, we will have babies to hold!

How Far Along: 36 weeks

Size of baby:  Over 18.5" long  and roughly 6 lbs
Position: On Tuesday they were breech/breech

Weight: 213.2 

Total Weight Gain: Gain: 30.8
Stretch Marks: I feel like my whole belly is sun burnt. It also itches like crazy, but when I scratch it it has that burning sensation that sun burns have. Sooo, plenty of stretch marks.

Maternity Clothes: I am quickly outgrowing my shirts.

Genders: Girl/Girl!!

Names: Baby A will be Courtney Maren, and Baby B will be Alexis Marie

Movement: They have been really quiet again this week, but they have still been passing their NSTs (non stress tests) and the Dr doesn't seem worried, so I am trusting him. I have never been more thankful for the doppler I am borrowing than I have been these past two weeks. I check their heartbeats every day, sometimes more than once a day.

Sleep: I am still sleeping pretty well. Getting up to use the bathroom 4-6 times a night is becoming a hassle though. I have contractions the entire time I am up during the night, and they are really intense. This week they have been continuing after I get back in bed and it takes a few minutes for my belly/back to stop hurting before I can go back to sleep.

Exercise: TONS of breech baby turning exercises. 

Hypnobabies: I am still practicing, but I am more trying to adjust to the likelihood of my needing a c-section. My intuition has been telling me from the beginning that these babies are not going to turn head down. I know there is still a chance, but it is becoming a smaller and smaller possibility.

Symptoms: Still having contractions a lot when I am standing or walking, but it isn't a ton like it was before Back pain, pelvic pain, and some hip pain. I have been having lovely pubic bone pain from where the bone is separating. It hurts like crazy when I first start walking or have been standing for a long time. This past week my whole belly has started hurting most of the time. It's just stretched to the max and it hurts!

What I miss: Physical activity

Cravings: Not much.

Aversions: Still eggs, but overall, I am just pretty sick of eating constantly. 

Things to do: Buy the big stuff - crib, car seat, stroller, two bouncers, Buy a BIGGER CAR, Paint the room, Put up the flower/tree decals, Make/buy bedding, Buy baby books, Sew/buy 36 diapers, Wash clothes, Install both infant seats, Decorate name letters - Alexis, Courtney, Rearrange and set up the nursery, Buy more girl's clothes, Pack hospital bags - Theirs, Mine, Get nursing bras, tops, tank tops, Get little stuff - thermometer, bulb syringe, bath soap, lotions, nail clippers, pacifiers, make 1-3 months of freezer meals, Go on one last outing as a family of 3. All finished except the freezer meals. I really don't have the energy to make any extra food.

Best Moment this week: Having my Dr tell me that, any time after 37 weeks, if I get tired of being pregnant to call him and he will take the babies out. Granted, I don't plan to take him up on his offer I want to go as long as I can, but it was nice of him to offer!

Looking Forward To: Ultrasound on Friday!! I can't believe I have made it through another month, and it's time to see these girls again.

Picture(s) for this week: 

36 weeks!

Family Camping

Saturday morning Robert, Kaylee, and I were relaxing and playing in the pool, trying to figure out how to make the best of one of our last weekends as a family of three. Kaylee loves her pool, but I don't think she would have had fun for long with no one else her size to play with.

Kaylee trying to fit into the camping chair bag.

Once she did, she kind of looked like a mermaid!

The camp chair brought up the idea of going camping. We have been wanting to go for a while with Kaylee. I wanted to go before the babies came because after they are here we wont be able to go very easily for a year or more. So we decided to pack everything up, get fishing licenses, and head up the mountain.

We found a great little spot, with one area for the fire and food stuff

And a very secluded one for the tent!


It was so nice to have it away from prying eyes! You couldn't even see it from the road 6-8 feet away.

The tent ended up missing its poles! They somehow didn't make it back in the bag from the last camping trip. Luckily Robert had thought to buy some rope when we stopped at the grocery store before we left, so he tied the tent up to some trees. I can't imagine what we would have done if we hadn't had a ton of trees to tie it up with.

The dogs appreciated having the space to themselves too

Robert was so amazing to do basically everything to keep me from doing too much.

He and Kaylee set up the camp together

After we set up camp we drove down the very super bumpy road to the lake to do some fishing. Then we decided to drive up to another lake to see if there were less people there. That road was unlike anything I have ever driven. My poor stomach had a hard time, swinging back and forth and up and down with every pot hole and bump. The second lake was super low on water, and Kaylee had fallen asleep by the time we got there so we made a circle and drove back down the horrible road to the first lake. 

I forgot to grab the camera (or either phone) so I didn't get any pictures of fishing. We had a lot of fun, but I wish we could have left the dogs in the car (it was too hot). There were too many people to let them loose for more than a few minutes so they just got tied to trees where they had basically no where to lay down. Not fun for them, and I felt bad. Unfortunately we didn't catch anything that evening so we decided to come back in the morning to try again.

Dinner was served as soon as we got back to camp. Kaylee loved eating hot dogs that her daddy had cooked on the fire! She didn't last long enough to have marshmellows though.

When she was finished with her food she went and got her pajamas out of the tent and brought them to us saying "I tired, need go to bed". She and Robert slept in the tent together, and I slept on a mattress (real, not blow-up) in the suburban. That was the only way I could have gone camping without having the babies on top of a mountain.

My bed in the car:

Things got interesting during the middle of the night when contractions woke me up and wouldn't let me go back to sleep. I was in a LOT of pain, and nothing I did was helping. I debated whether or not to wake up Robert and pack everything up and head to the hospital. I finally decided to take some Tylenol and see if it helped the pain any. Luckily, it helped enough to let me relax which let the contractions die down so I was able to sleep.

The next morning, we ate yummy campfire breakfasts, packed up the camp, changed the VERY flat tire on the suburban, and headed down to the lake for some more fishing.

I once again forgot my camera, but this time we were much more successful! We found a container of worms as we walked around the lake, and it seems like the fish liked those better than regular bate. We were only there for 30-45 minutes and caught two fish. I caught one! All the other times I have caught fish it has been in a "shooting fish in a barrel" type situation, where you could probably reach into the water with your bare hands and catch a fish. This time I actually felt like I had accomplished something. Robert caught the other fish, but Kaylee got to reel it in and it made her day! She loved seeing the fish, but kept trying to feed them food while they were on the chain in the water.

Kaylee with her fish

She was a little nervous to have them so close to her face

By the time we headed home, Kaylee was very filthy, and very very happy! I can't wait to go camping again sometime.

5 weeks to go

Pregnancy Highlights: This past week was rough emotionally for me. With Cadence's birthday on Friday, and me being exactly as far along now as I was then it was a bit nerve racking.

How Far Along: 35 weeks

Size of baby:  Over 18" long  and roughly 5.25 lbs
Position: Transverse/Transverse (They are kind of diagonal rather than straight across, but they still count as transverse) - I am adding this to the list for each week because I think about it pretty much all the time.

Weight: 209.2 - Finally a gain in weight!

Total Weight Gain: Gain: 26.8
Stretch Marks: I feel like my whole belly is sun burnt. It also itches like crazy, but when I scratch it it has that burning sensation that sun burns have. Sooo, plenty of stretch marks.

Maternity Clothes: I am quickly outgrowing my shirts.

Genders: Girl/Girl!!

Names: Baby A will be Courtney Maren, and Baby B will be Alexis Marie

Movement: I think their movement is slowing down a little because they are running out of room. They have been pretty quiet this past week, but were thankfully so active on the two scary days of the week.

Sleep: I feel so blessed to be sleeping as well as I am most nights. I have some nights where I can't sleep, and I almost always wake up tired, but it could be SO much worse.

Exercise: Robert, Kaylee and I went camping this weekend, and it was wonderful! It was a very physically demanding weekend though. My poor body is sore beyond belief. It was SO worth it to be able to go camping once with Kaylee before we add the babies to the family.

Hypnobabies: I am pretty discouraged. I would love to be embracing the whole course, but the fact that the babies are not cooperating (as of Friday) towards a vaginal birth has me feeling like it will all be a waste of time. But I will still practice faithfully, hoping that little baby A will turn around to where she is supposed to be.

Symptoms: Still having contractions a lot when I am standing or walking, but it isn't a ton like it was before Back pain, pelvic pain, and some hip pain. I have been having lovely pubic bone pain from where the bone is separating. It hurts like crazy when I first start walking or have been standing for a long time.

What I miss: Physical activity

Cravings: Not much.

Aversions: Still eggs, but overall, I am just pretty sick of eating constantly. 

Things to do: Buy the big stuff - crib, car seat, stroller, two bouncers, Buy a BIGGER CAR, Paint the room, Put up the flower/tree decals, Make/buy bedding, Buy baby books, Sew/buy 36 diapers, Wash clothes, Install both infant seats, Decorate name letters - Alexis, Courtney, Rearrange and set up the nursery, Buy more girl's clothes, Pack hospital bags - Theirs, Mine, Get nursing bras, tops, tank tops, Get little stuff - thermometer, bulb syringe, bath soap, lotions, nail clippers, pacifiers, make 1-3 months of freezer meals, Go on one last outing as a family of 3

Best Moment this week: Getting past the point where we lost Cadence. It has been haunting me since we first realize it was the same due date, and I am glad to have gotten past it without too much emotional trauma.

Looking Forward To: Having babies in my arms. I am ready to be done with this pregnancy, and start being a mom to three.

Picture(s) for this week: 

Week 35

And a different angle so you can see my new haircut!!

Happy Birthday Little Angel!

A year ago today, we welcomed our little angel, Cadence into the world.

I promise there is a birthday post in the works.....it's just taking me forever to write it.

Cadence's Day

I have sat down dozens of times to try to write this post. Part of me doesn't even want to write it. I feel like I might be judged for how I am feeling. Because, honestly, I was not sad on her birthday!

Happy 1 year birthday to our little angel Cadence McKenzie!!

Did I feel little twinges of sadness that we don't have a little girl turning one and having a party? Yes, but those moments were immediately swept away by the firm knowledge I have that she was not meant to stay on earth. I spent the day thinking of her and of the day we were having a year ago when she came into our lives. Even then, we weren't desperately heartbroken as so many couples/women/families that I have heard about who have gone through this same kind of loss. We talked, laughed, and processed everything that was happening. We talked immediately of the future and more children. Yes, it was a sad, difficult day, but it was not something we look back on with sadness. Instead, we love the memory we have of our short time with her, and we are looking forward to the future when we get to see her again.

On Cadence's day, I was busy with so many things. I didn't think about her all day long. I went about our normal routine and that evening when we finally had time, Robert, Kaylee, and I took some flowers and a birthday cupcake up to her grave and sang happy birthday to her. It was super windy, but the candle stayed lit long enough to get through most of the song, and then we lit it again so Kaylee could blow it out. We took the little cake home and Kaylee got to eat it for dinner.

Her little spot with flowers and her birthday cupcake. My only sadness for the day was the fact that we don't have her headstone in yet. It will come, but it was hard not having it for her birthday.

This picture took about 10 tries before we got it. She couldn't keep her eyes off the cake so every shot had her eyes closed with a great smile. By the time I caught her eyes in a picture, her smile was getting tired. She was happy to be there though!

From the cemetery I went to a girls night out with some very good friends. One of those friends thought to bring a bunch of purple balloons for us to release together in remembrance of Cadence. It was wonderful!

Balloons in exactly the right color

All my beautiful friends

Happy Birthday Cadence!!

It was such a beautiful day!