Birthing at Home

It has taken me a while to write down Samuel’s birth story. It was such an amazing experience and I wanted to process my feelings and experiences before I tried to write it down. I don’t think I will ever experience anything so powerful, wonderful, and amazing again.

It all starts the Saturday before. I had gotten my membranes swept for a second time, and was contracting a ton at the aquarium afterwards and late into that night, to the point that I thought I might actually be in labor. I laid down to rest and see what happened and woke the next morning, still pregnant. It was such a disappointment. I was tired of waiting, but more so I was starting to really worry about how truly safe it was to keep him in any longer. After loosing Cadence, and knowing so many other moms who have lost late term babies, it was starting to freak me out a little (ok a lot.)

So, Sunday afternoon/evening I got permission from my midwife (Terah) to use her recipe for a caster oil induction. She had me make a smoothie to help it work more slowly and not be such a shock to my system. It wasn’t that bad, and after only 4 hours, around 6:30pm, my contractions started just like they had the evening before. I was in complete denial. I didn’t want to get my hopes up and then have nothing happen.

I sat outside for a while with my mom and then, when she and the girls were in bed Robert and I watched some episodes of our TV shows. I set up my birthing ball so that I could lean against the back of the couch and completely relax. I was texting Terah and doula (Aliya), and kept telling them that I didn’t know if this was really it and that I felt like if I laid down everything would stop. I was timing the contractions and they were about every 2-3 minutes but only lasting about 45-50 seconds. The contractions were much more intense when I was up and moving, but more spaced out. Around 9 Aliya and I talked for a few minutes so she could hear how I was handling contractions. I felt like they were getting closer together, but not too difficult to breathe through.

At 10:30 I decided that I should lay down and see what happened. I went to my bed fully expecting everything to stop. On my way to bed I asked Robert to check on me in 30 minutes and wake me up if I was asleep so I could take more caster oil. Once I got in bed I continued to time the contractions, and started listening to my Hypnobabies birthing day CD. The contractions went to about 1.5 minutes apart and 1 minute long. Luckily, Robert came to check on me early because I had gotten to a point where I couldn’t text in between contractions. I had him text our birth team and tell them to come over. This was only 15 minutes after I had laid down!!

It took me a couple days to realize it, but this part of my labor was NOT painful! It was intense, powerful, and I had to work to keep myself focused on my breathing, but I was not in pain! I never moved, just laid on my side and stayed deep in hypnosis listening to my early stage labor CD track.

By the time Aliya arrived, probably only 10 minutes later, I was DEEP in hypnosis and didn’t really notice when she came in. Terah was stuck in traffic and her assistant and student got there before her. When they arrived, they apparently thought I was asleep and wondered if they were going to be heading back home! At this point, I was actually in transition! I was starting to shake between contractions, which I knew meant I was close to having a baby. I was still not feeling any pain, only the extreme power of my muscles working hard to birth my baby.

I remember noticing when midnight came. The app I was using to time contractions showed a line where a new day started. I’m not sure why I remember that part of the labor, but I do. Shortly after that, at 12:37 I had a contraction that was double the length that any of the others had been. It started, peaked, started to die down and then intensified and peaked again. It was just over 2 minutes long. According to my contraction monitor, I only timed one more after that before I left the bed to get into the tub. I didn’t remember to bring my phone with me out to the tub. The “Push your baby out” track completely slipped my mind, but probably would have been helpful in the hour to come.

Getting into the tub was wonderful! It lessened the intensity of the contractions (still not painful, just super powerful and hard to concentrate and breathe through) and renewed my birthing energy. It felt like I only had a couple contractions in the water before I started pushing, but apparently it was more like 30-45 minutes. This is when I started to loose focus. The CD track I had been listening to had been keeping me focused, deeply hypnotized, and grounded. Not having that shook my focus and things started to get uncomfortable and scary. I remember starting to feel a bit of fear every time a contraction would start because I wasn’t able to handle them as well. They weren’t overwhelmingly painful, but they were much more difficult to handle than when I was laying in bed. If I ever do this again I will make sure that a couple people know to switch my track to pushing baby out and bring it with me to the tub.

Then came the pushing. This is where things started to hurt. With Kaylee, not only did I had an epidural, but I only pushed 3 times and out she came, no big deal haha! I don’t know if I was expecting the same thing, but I wasn’t expecting it to be as difficult as it was. At first I was pushing on my knees holding on to Roberts hands over the side of the birthing tub. Then, they couldn’t find his heartbeat with me in that position so they had me turn over and lean back against the side. Right before I turned around my water broke, and that was when things got super intense. Being on my back, facing the middle of the tub, was much better for me because I could brace my feet against the opposite side when I pushed. It seemed like it took forever for him to start crowning, and it felt like my pushing wasn’t doing much to move him down.

Finally he started to crown, and that part did hurt. There is a reason it’s called the ring of fire! He head came out half way and then it felt like FOREVER before the rest came out! Then I pushed a couple times and his shoulders didn’t come out so my midwife reached in to make sure he wasn’t stuck. I remembered having an instant of preparing for things to get really crazy really fast if he was in fact stuck, but then Terah said “his shoulder is out” and I relaxed as he came the rest of the way out. 1:37 pm, exactly an hour after the crazy double contraction.

Finally he was here! There were a few scary minutes right after he came out because he wasn’t breathing. He got some attention from the midwives for almost 3 whole minutes before he took a breath and started crying. His color was good, and he was still getting oxygen from the cord, and I trusted Terah to know if something was an emergency or not. As soon as he was breathing he was handed to me, and it was amazing to finally hold him.

After delivering the placenta, Samuel went with Robert while I was stitched up. Then I got him back to nurse while Robert went to get Kaylee and my mom. Kaylee had requested that we wake her up to meet the baby even in the middle of the night. I’m so glad we did, because she was SO excited to meet him.

As soon as I was stitched up, he had nursed for a little while, been weighed, and measured he and I went to bed. My poor midwives had to stay for a while longer to be there for the 3 hours postpartum before heading home.

This birth was such an amazing, empowering experience! It was so much calmer and more controlled than I ever thought it would be. Having such an amazing home birth makes me wish I would have birthed this way from the beginning!

A Different Kind of Birth Story

One of the things I was sad about when I resigned myself to having a c-section was the fact that I wasn't going to have a fun birth story to tell. But, things happened the way they did, and I still have to tell about the day our twins were born.

I woke up several times the night before the surgery, so excited (and hungry) that I couldn't go back to sleep for hours. I knew that I needed to take advantage of the last full night of sleep I would have in a while, but I couldn't.....it was worse than Christmas! When the family finally got up around 6, I was so thirsty I was ready to drink out of our sprinklers when they came on. I wanted water SO badly! I was really too nervous to eat, but the no water thing was really difficult.

The last belly picture at home. I had to add in the dramatic face....because that is how I felt on the inside lol!

My mom showed up just before 8 so she could watch Kaylee for us. It was actually pretty sad to leave Kaylee home knowing that our little family of 3 was about to change dramatically. We got a final picture of our little family and the Robert and I headed to the hospital.

Our last time as a "small" family

We were told to get there 3 hours before the scheduled surgery, and we got there even earlier because traffic is unpredictable on the drive over. Some days it will only take 20 minutes, and other days it takes a full hour. I was hopefully that our being early would mean I would go into the c-section early, and that's exactly what happened.

The room where we waited for surgery and where the babies and I came during recovery

Waiting was the worst part! It seemed like it took forever before they were ready for us.

As we sat in our room waiting I became more and more nervous. I just didn't know what to expect. This was surgery. MAJOR surgery! The few people they had come in to explain things to us didn't help to calm my nerves very much. At one point, Robert had gone out of the room to get a drink and several people came in and made it sound like we were going in to surgery right then! I started to freak out that Robert wasn't there, and maybe wouldn't be there in time for the birth of the babies. Silly me. It was another hour I think before we actually went back.

Ready for the walk to the OR

Robert looking all handsome in his scrubs

The last twin belly picture

Walking to the OR was surreal and exciting all at the same time. When we got in the OR it was just like everyone described it to me. Cold, noisy, impersonal, scary, and overwhelming. As I sat there on the table getting my spinal placed I became more and more anxious, but tried my best not to show it. The spinal didn't help at all. I was hoping it would be an easy one like my epidural with Kaylee, but this one hurt......a lot. He had to poke me a few times to get the placement right, and with each painful poke my emotions bubbled more to the surface. When it was finally in and started working (instantly) I started to cry a little and that, of course, embarrassed me to death. I hate crying in front of people! I finally calmed down and then we all sat there waiting for the Dr to come in.


Trying my best to stop crying and calm down.

They checked a couple times to make sure he had in fact been paged, and finally he came in. Robert hadn't come it yet, and I was so afraid they were going to forget to bring him in! It was wonderful when he finally came to sit by me, and then I let myself get excited. I let myself celebrate the fact that we were about to have babies!

The surgery started at some point. I didn't hear anyone say when it started, but I could see just enough reflection on a light fixture to tell when things got a little bloody. Robert actually got to take some pictures of the surgical field while they were pulling babies out, and I will forever be thankful. Really I would have loved to videotape the entire thing to watch later. It was the birth of our babies, and I didn't want to miss it.

***IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE THE BIRTH (SURGERY) PICTURES, PLEASE GO HERE OR HERE!***

Alexis (Baby B during the pregnancy) somehow got her head far enough down that they took her out first. That then made her Baby A. It was SO confusing! But at least they were able to tell us which baby they had taken out first so we would know who was who. Alexis was 6 lbs 7 oz 18" long, and born at 12:08pm.


Alexis being cleaned off


Holding our baby Alexis for the first time

One thing that differed from how I envisioned was that they didn't lift the babies up over the screen to show them to us. I hear Alexis start crying, but didn't get to see her. It was all I could do to keep from jumping off the table to go check and make sure she was ok. Then they started working to pull out Courtney (Baby A during the pregnancy). I don't remember if they had gotten Courtney out yet when they brought Alexis over to us, and I got to hold her. That was heaven!! I loved looking at her little face, and having her calm down immediately when she heard my voice. Courtney was still breech so they pulled her out by her legs, which doesn't look comfortable in the pictures. She was 6 lbs 12 oz 20.5" long and born at 12:10pm. The doctors and nurses were commenting on how big the babies were and congratulating me on growing two healthy sized twins. She ended up with excess fluid in her lungs so they took her (and Robert) to the nursery to be monitored to make sure she was ok. Before they took her away we got a couple pictures of the 4 of us, and I got to see and touch Courtney a little.


The new additions to our family - Courtney is on the left and Alexis is on the right

I continued to hold Alexis until I was wheeled into recovery. As soon as I was settled and sitting up a little in the recovery bed I was allowed to nurse Alexis while we waited for Robert to come back with Courtney. I don't remember how long they were gone, but it seemed like forever! Once they came back, I was able to tandem nurse the babies for the first time. It was amazing! Courtney was a natural and latched herself on with very little help from me. Alexis has a latch very similar to Kaylee's. Very shallow and VERY painful. It looks like I will be working with her to get her latching better. It was so odd to realize over and over that we really do have TWO babies now to take care of. They are here and now it is up to us to raise them.

It was a very interesting experience having a c-section. Not something I would be ok doing again, but at least now I know what all happens and I can encourage any family/friends who find themselves having to be cut open.

Courtney

Alexis

Together again!

Cadence's Birth Story

Wednesday, August 3, 2011 -

This day was a blur. It went by SO quickly, but it was also very very long. I was still handling the contractions quite well, and was surprised that they hadn't started hurting yet. They were literally back to back, and the nurse kept reminding me that I could have an epidural/pain meds whenever I felt I needed them. I didn't realize it then, but this was my Hypnobabies practice hard at work. I was using the tools without being aware that I was using them.

Around 10:30 my nurse came in to let me know that the anesthesiologist was going into a c-section and wouldn't be available to do an epidural for another hour and a half to two hours. I told her I was fine and that I would wait to decide until he was out of the c-section. I think I lost some of my concentration at that point because almost immediately the contractions started to worsen. I started to actively use my birthing tools to concentrate through them, but I could tell that, because I hadn't yet finished the Hypnobabies course, I did not have the tools yet for the later stages of labor. I let my nurse know that I would like the epidural as soon as the anesthesiologist was available even though I still wasn't in much pain. When he came in to do it, he warned me that the first stick of the needle would sting because of the lidocane. I told him that I hadn't felt the lidocane at all with my last epidural and my nurse chuckled and said "I have a feeling this one has a high pain tolerance". That made me SO proud because I hadn't even had to try to get through the contractions until the last 30 minutes before I called for the epidural. I was very proud that my Hypnobabies practice had been paying off.

Things seemed to go very quickly after the epidural was in. We waited for my family to come visit so that Kaylee could see us. They stayed for a little while, and it was wonderful to see our little Kaylee. They left at 5:30 and right after that the nurse told me I was at 6 cm and 100%. Only 10 minutes later I felt the very urgent need to push, and I called her back in to find out that little Cadence was about to be born.

The doctor was paged (her office is down the hall from the labor and delivery unit of the hospital) but I had the feeling if she didn't hurry she was going to miss the delivery. It took every bit of mental willpower for me to not push with each contraction. Finally the nurse checked and discovered that Cadence actually was head down, not breech like she had been at the ultrasound the previous afternoon. Once she realized that she gave me permission to push and Cadence was born with only me, Robert and the nurse in the room. It was an amazingly quiet, sacred, moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.

I was immediately grateful that I was fully aware for her birth. I didn't want to miss a second of this experience, as horrible as that sounds, and I was very glad that I wasn't loopy like I had been for Kaylee's birth. She was wrapped up and handed to me and I held her for a couple minutes until the doctor came in. She was shocked that Cadence was already there, and sad that she hadn't been there for me. Robert got to bathe Cadence and I dressed her in a little purple dress/nightgown, knit hat, and booties. It was given to us by the Chaplin, and was SO tiny, yet still looked big on our little girl. After she was dressed and re-wrapped, Robert and I held her and spent some time alone with her.

Even though I didn't get to have the exact birth that I wanted, I think it was the most perfect birth I could get in this situation. I am so grateful to my wonderful husband who was there for me every step of the way.

Birth Story

It all started Tuesday morning when Robert and I went to my doctor appointment at 8 in the morning. We went back, and the first thing that went wrong was that my blood pressure was high. For me 112/60+ is normal and mine came out at 140/79. They took it again and it was 132/66. They weren't too concerned. Then during the ultrasound J (my doctor) said that I had basically no fluid left in with Kaylee, and that my placenta had a lot of calcification in it (also a bad thing). So she said we were going in to have her today. She called the hospital and they said they wouldn't have a bed for us until 11. As I stood there talking to J, I swore I felt like I suddenly pee'd my pants. So I mentioned that I thought my water had just broken. J said to just go in as soon as we could.

We went home, got everything packed in the car, played with the dogs, puppy proofed the family room, and I took a shower. Then we went out to breakfast (something J had suggested) and while we were eating the hospital called to say they wouldn't have a room for us until noon. That was a good thing though because I had scheduled a car seat inspection at 11:30 that day. We went and found out that we actually put it in right!! It was just a little too lose, but other than that we did great. This whole time, I was having some slight contractions, but hadn't felt any more leaking of my water.

Once we got to the hospital we sat in the waiting room for an hour waiting for the room! So at 1 I got into my room, and around 1:45 J showed up to check my progress and to see if my water had actually broken. I was 3cm and about 65-70% effaced, and my water hadn't broken so she broke it. After that very painful exam the nurse started doing my IV. She was putting lidocaine in first to numb it, and it took her 3 tries. Each one felt like a bee sting! Finally she got it, and started my pitocin. My mom got there shortly after, and the contractions started.

I handled them as long as I felt like I could, but because I was on pitocin I was not allowed to walk around! That was because the baby needed to be constantly monitered. Around 4:00 I asked for a birthing ball to sit on to see if that would help, but by 4:30 it hadn't gotten there and I couldn't wait any longer. So I asked for the epidural. Luckily the Women's center had their own, so he was there in about 10 minutes. After the lidocaine for the IV's I was very worried about how much the epidural was going to sting. But it was no where near as painful!! In about 5 minutes I was feeling so much better. My only complaint the whole time with the epi. was that my right leg got SO numb that I couldn't move it, and it almost hurt.

Unfortunately, either my body was taking its time or the epi. slowed down my progress because I stayed at 3cm until around 9:30pm when J came back to check me again. Then she was very excited that I was finally 4cm and 90% effaced. Then I sat at 4 for a LONG time! I went to sleep around 11pm and tried to sleep most of the night. Around 1am the nurse came in and gave me an oxygen mask, turned off my pitocin, and rolled me onto my left side. Kaylee's heart rate kept dipping so they wanted to give her a break from the pitocin. At some point they had gotten special permission to turn it up one higher than the limit.

I went back to sleep, but at some point they came back in and turned my pitocin back on. That was when I noticed that I was starting to get feeling back into my legs and back. Then I started to be able to feel some tingling when the contractions came. At about 3pm I suddenly felt her head slide down into my pelvis and I suddenly was feeling a lot of pressure with every contraction. They still weren't too painful so I didn't push my button that would have given me another little dose of numbing meds. I wanted to wait until I was checked to see how far along I was. That 30-45 minutes was really really long, but I also liked being able to feel what was going on in my body.

My nurse brought in some tylonal and a bag of antibiotics because I was developing a fever (I found out later it was 102!). I didn't feel at all like I had a fever though. When I was checked I was 8cm and 100% effaced! Finally! I woke Robert up, and had him get ready for action because I could tell I was progressing VERY quickly. I pushed my button, and nothing really happened. My right leg got a bit numb but nothing else. So I pushed it again with the same result.....a little more numb but not as much as I wanted. At 4:00 the nurse came back and I told her that I was feeling some major pressure. She checked me for about 2 seconds and said "well that is because you are going to have a baby in a minute!!!" She turned on some lights and had me do a test push. It was going to be a few test pushes, but she stopped me after one, and said that she was going to call my doctor.

That is when I realized that I needed to be more numb if I didn't want to feel everything that was about to happen. I pushed the button a third time, and then a fourth for good measure. That got me just numb enough. I couldn't get rid of the pressure (typical with epidurals) but the contractions weren't painful anymore. When my nurse came back in she said that we were going to let me sit and progress some more on my own until the nurse shift change at 5......a whole hour away. It was a very uncomfortable hour.

Around 5 I started feeling the fever, which had gone up, and I mentally and emotionally started to break down. It took the new nurses (a regular and a nurse in training) FOREVER to get me ready to push, and suddenly my IV stopped working. It was back flowing a little, and nothing was getting into me. They fiddled with it, and I started tearing up because I was so afraid they were going to have to try to give me a new one. I just couldn't handle it. I was in some pretty serious pain from the pressure, and didn't want more pain. Then they decided to flush it (I think) and holy crap that hurt! That got me crying more, and I started to lose it. I just generally felt like crap. Robert got me a cold cloth for my head, but it was doing little to make me feel better. The nurses had me practice push through one contraction (so 3 pushes) and had me stop so the doctor could get there. I remember thinking "what? you haven't called her yet?" I guess they just meant they needed to let her know I was ready to push for real. This was all around 5:30. I got a hold of myself so that I would be able to breathe effectivly when it was time to push.

Finally J got there, and they put my legs up in stirrups. That was the most painful part of the whole labor and delivery. It made the pain from the pressure 1 million times worse so that it hurt all the time rather than just with the contractions. Once she was all ready I pushed through another contraction, and then had to SIT THERE and wait until the next one came. I swear that 2 minutes was the longest ever. On the next contraction, I pushed twice and her head came out which was the greatest feeling in the world because all the pressure pain went away. Her crowning was no where near as painful as I thought it was going to be. Then one little half push and out she came! I watched the whole time from when her head came out until she was out.

This is where things get fuzzy. She was placed on my chest and I remember being suprised by how blue she was, and how slimy! There was nothing wrong with her, she just had a bit of a cone head from being in my pelvis so long. I watched J clamp her cord, and Robert got to cut it. Her cord was VERY thin and whimpy looking. Then she was taken to be weighed and cleaned off. Until that point she hadn't cried at all! Because of the fever I was feeling very drunk and out of it so I am not sure I noticed her first cry. She was completely healthy, and scored 8 and 9 on her apgars. She also had a fever but just because I did. I didn't cry when she came out, I think because I was not "there" enough mentally to feel the emotions. As I was being stiched up, the rest of my epidural wore of and I felt the last couple pokes of the needle down there. I didn't get an epesiodomy but I did get a little 1st degree tear.

So, there you have it! It was one of the best experiences of my life, and I am glad it happened the way it did. I felt just enough of the delivery part to know that I can do it again. I really wish the fever hadn't happened because I would have liked to be more aware and awake when she came out. Jenetta, I can't wait for you to have little Evelyn! I hope your labor and delivery goes smoothly!